Explaining the battle of Agincourt to Andrew using crisp packets and sweet wrappers as the battlefield. Apparently I just can't be arsed to use full sentences to describe battles.

'British in trees. French pissed as farts up this end. Frenchies charge. British mow Frenchies down with arrows. Horsies sink.'
'And then they get to the english?'
'Noooo. *more* arrows. Frenchies try again, only now treading on horsies. Our knights and soldiers come in to cut them down. Frenchies in armour drown.'
'Didn't they try to flank them?'
'Yep. See baggage slaughter. Well, that's the excuse given for our slaughter of the hostages.'
'Ohhh, the 'I was not angry since I came to France' bit.'
'Indeedy. now play with this catapult.'
It was concluded that my history lessons would at least be entertaining.

Sects: The Ioans are...um... not really interested in group activities. Neolodians do it out of pride, as do the evolutionistas. Patina-ites are very organised and scary in their organisation. Offlerians work hard and in bits. Fedexsians - tiny numbers but dedicated. Moon Goddess worshippers are very enthusiastic but utterly bonkers. Tuvelpitians couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery but we can turn up in force, and can sing better than you buggers.