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Real names for UK holidays:

 Winter chocolate
Dress up in the name of some bloke.
Spring chocolate
Barbecue & festivals
Horror-themed sweets & partying
Winterfest drink, week-long food & tv coma, relatives 

au fic ideas. also a new fic.

 AUs we need more of:
Political.  Presidential candidate Rogers, running mate Barnes.  I am also in favour of one where Senator Rogers is the candidate and Barnes is husband or security.  (aka Look, if Sebastian Stan will keep getting cast as the horrendously tortured gay addict son of the president/king, IT'S NOT OUR FAULT.) Bonus points for an appearance of Bucky's mum played by Sigourney Weaver.
Comic artist Steve.  I'm happy with pre-war Steve doing mad pulp comics, or him becoming the artist for the Captain America comics (Simon and Kirby started it in December 1940 (cover March '41) even though they didn't enter the war until '42) you could even have him taking over from them when they moved to DC comics at the end of '41, Steve being an artist for Captain America until he meets up with Erskine, him making it home from the war and getting a job as the artist...
BNF Avengers.  By which I am most in favour of still-being-Avengers and being BNFs in their spare time. Coulson is almost certainly a BNF of Captain America and Howling Commandos fandom in canon, at least pre-Avengers Assembled.  C'mon, Tony started writing Cap fic as a rebellion against his dad.  You know he did.  Steve starts posting Captain America and Howling Commandos art and cartoons, encouraged by Coulson, and complimented for his classic style and clearly influenced by Steve Rogers' style.  (added bonus for Tony finding out due to the raving about it and that ) 
And in the midst of this AU musing, I started another snippet-fic.
<a href=http://archiveofourown.org/works/1433743>Welcome to the Future, No Smoking Inside</a> - it's on part 2 right now.  In which Steve wakes up from the freeze and and finds himself chatting to a SHIELD agent on a break between welcome to the future briefings. In which Bucky was born in the present day.


stating the bleeding obvious

 watching one of those Stonehenge specials, hoping for a nugget of new info. (you watch enough of these, the programs are 3-5% interesting new angle/discovery, 40% dramatic reconstruction/bad graphics, 55-57% yawn) I did get it, but only right near the beginning, about the outer circle of bluestones that pre-date the sarsens that’re basically gravestones which very few of these ever touch on, and later insights into the analysing techniques they’re using. (always fascinating)

Apart from the giant ‘fuck you and your complete ignorance of a lot of army make-up throughout history’ when they said that ‘the presence of both sexes rules out the skeletons being warriors/army or a priesthood’, I spent a large amount of time rolling my eyes when it got onto the actual use of Stonehenge.

A few years back they started talking about the fact that the area around 
Stonehenge for most of the year was tiny population and then became ground zero for the solstice festivals in these programs.

The analysis of pig teeth and human teeth showed how far people had come from and where. How many people. The short period of time the site was used for each year. The fact that so much food was being consumed and roasted up that loads was being thrown away. The rubbish. The sheer amount of preparation that went into this. Stonehenge being a destination for partying/observance. and that all this was AMAZING and UNIQUE.

To which I sit here and go ‘None of you fuckers excavating and analysing come from a festival town, do you?’

I come from Reading, in Berkshire. For the past several decades we’ve hosted a music festival on the last weekend of August and been doing it longer than most. Thousands of people descend from all over Britain and the world, party their heads off for a few days, then go home, a lot poorer, covered in paint, mud, clutching some utterly random souvenir and unbelievably hungover. The town has been doing this for so long that we have a system for doing this. The locals actually work on auto-pilot - the construction of the site starts in late spring/early summer, the supermarkets get stock in and re-arrange, the barriers and signs go up, etc. Locals not working the festival stay out of town for the weekend, the festival goers leave, the site gets cleaned up. This happens every year. Around the world and across the millennia of human civilisation, there have been festival towns where a big fuck-off festival happened once a year or every couple of years where people descend to party. San Diego for Comic-Con. Olympus. Mecca. Leeds. Glastonbury.

Seriously. I was ticking off every item they talked about and going 'Well, duh?'

'They travelled for a month with all these goods!'
'They do that.'
'The sheer amount of food consumed!'
'Partied solid for three days!'
'It was a tiny village that somehow accommodated a population explosion!'
'You have the cash, we have the experience.'
'Clearly organised!'
'You want it disorganised?'
'What part of festival town DO YOU NOT GET?'


 So far, young Avengers - I spent so much time *smiling*. and then being a bit teary. *happy sigh*

Wonder Woman is GLORIOUS and horrific and family quabbles on an epic scale of beings that are *not like you* and the horror end of Greek mythology and I’m in love. Also, Diana, when not actively fighting or about to start one and is just hanging around or having a cuppa in a cafe, shoves her tiara up as a headband and wears a coat over the bathing suit. There are a few of these coats, but there is a distinct fondness for white, funnel necks and short burberry-style macs. verrrrry stylish, a distinct look and makes so much sense for someone who doesn’t have a secret identity and is always battle ready. *spoiler* the bracers she wears? Actually cage her power. Remove them and it, er, escalates a tad into the glowing eyes and crackling power around her, which fits for the whole god and demi gods only being human shaped thing the current run has.

Batwoman: oh, it was complex and interwoven and double-crossing and FAMILY and learning and limits and pushing through them and fucking up and learning and PTSD all round and broken and recovering and coming back harder and how being a military family fucks your reactions to normal life and paranoia levels and sneaking and creepy and spooky and haunted house and… then DC pissed off JH Williams and Blackman one time too many and they left, leaving the entire DEO storyline and Batman hunt dangling. And the issue after that is … generic Gotham tinged vigilante heist and washed out pale copies of our characters that are *nothing* like the ones we knew, don’t even speak or react like them. Kate and Bette are not Nightwing and Spoiler on a bouncy day, Andreyko. Sorry.

The thing about catching up in chunks is noticing all the ads. Aside from the really annoying new 52 newsreader update at the end of each issue - which is annoying, we’re not going to pick up stuff with a two second gossip-style newsbite on every character in the ‘verse but easy to skip. Preview short stories at the back, yes, not a 60 second news update. And there are a *lot* of adverts for crossover/theme months. …Villains month? seriously? How is that different from usual aside from the likelihood of random villain popping in and not having owt to do with the currently running storyline? and crossovers tend to be more annoying than anything, because you suddenly have this issue where nothing makes sense with story arcs beginning in a comic elsewhere that you don’t get. Which doesn’t smack of gimmick desperation at all, honest.


Nanowrimo 2014

 No Seriously, Fuck TH White and Mallory

A tale of Arthur and Merlin on their latest reincarnation as avatars of Britain.  Only they're not sure what they're supposed to be averting this lifetime given that they're running a café in a seaside town in Cornwall.  Still, at least it can't be as weird as that time Arthur was a plumber.

The most that's happened to it is that it was spellchecked, and will probably contain my usual levels of getting sidetracked by utterly random things.


Theatre list :

(I think this is complete)
Sleeping Beauty, Sadlers (Bourne)
Kiss me Kate, Old Vic (Hannah Waddingham)
Macbeth, Trafalgar Studios (James McAvoy & Claire Foy)
Lift, Soho Theatre (Julie Atherton)
If You Don't Let Us Dream, Royal Court
Romeo & Juliet, Globe
Tempest, Globe (Colin Morgan & Roger Allam)
Midsummer Night's Dream, Globe
Othello, National Theatre (Rory Kinnear & Adrian Lester)
Indian Tempest, Globe
A Season in the Congo, Young Vic (Chiwetel Ejiofor)
The Pride, Trafalgar Studios (Hayley Atwell & Harry Hadden-Paton)
Zoo Nation Unplugged, Sadlers Wells
Macbeth, Globe
Blue Stockings, Globe
Scottsboro Boys, Young Vic
Mojo, Harold Pinter (Colin Morgan, Ben Whishaw, Rupert Grint)
Of these, highlights were... James Mcavoy in Macbeth, Sleeping Beauty, Midsummer Night's Dream, Othello, A Season in the Congo, Blue Stockings, Scottsboro Boys.  Several made me cry, some made the audience yell, some left you with a gaping hole in your chest, and some left the audience going 'ow. ow.  pulled something due to laughing too hard.'
Sexiest actor: John Light as Oberon
Hurt myself laughing: Midsummer Night's Dream
Best new play: Blue Stockings
Stole the show: Rory Kinnear, Othello
oh god oh no transformation: Daniel Kaluuya as Mobutu, Season in the Congo
Newbie: Jessie Buckley as Miranda, Tempest
New insight into old text: Halfway between Mcavoy and Foy having lost the baby and her nightmares being completely par for the course for post-apocalyptic setting, and Midsummer making explicit the defeat of the Amazons and forced marriage of Theseus and Hippolyta and her finding ways to undermine him.


They shall not grow old

I knew a simple soldier boy
Who grinned at life in empty joy,
Slept soundly through the lonesome dark,
And whistled early with the lark.

In winter trenches, cowed and glum,
With crumps and lice and lack of rum,
He put a bullet through his brain.
No one spoke of him again.

You smug-faced crowds with kindling eye
Who cheer when soldier lads march by,
Sneak home and pray you'll never know
The hell where youth and laughter go.

Suicide in the Trenches, Siegfried Sassoon.

Things learned camping:


All food (and crockery) is communal; stuff is cooked, the plate is then passed around the group or put in the centre.  Plate is also re-used if stuff is done in portions (eg bacon sandwiches).  Cook’s word is law.  You also feel a bit like you’re yelling ‘come to the cookhouse door!’

Each night, when saying goodnight, especially if wending your way through the tents as everyone’s getting ready for bed, someone will start the ‘G’night John Boy.’ patter.  Even if none of us have ever seen the original show.

Keeping stuff dry is actually *more* pressing than keeping stuff clean. You can clean something quickly, though that normally waits until the last minute - and is also communal. Drying takes *forever*.

The frying pan and grill were a major step in human evolution.

Wasp hunting and trapping is a way of life and a continual pasttime.

Books are nice but you’ll never manage to read more than a few pages at a time before someone’s interrupting you.

Gazebos/shelters you can stand up and congregate in (preferably with a table and seats) during rain: worth their weight in gold.


today in cafe

Me:'...I just write AUs, don't I?  I never actually write canon.  AUs with meticulously researched random tiny details.'
Jane: *patpat* 'But good AUs.'

(apparently I  wrote canon in Torchwood and I used to write it in Angel.  only the Torchwood would be case fic, so...)


writing ponderings

 yes, I did just do a quick-n-dirty keyword search on ao3 to see if anyone else had done this...

had a drought since I completed Daughter of the Dragonlord, aside from not-really-going anywhere future bits which normally involve a lot of angsting and spinning wheels as expansion bits normally do for me.  I know they're crap, it gets them out of my head.  (these were mostly Mithian going 'I'm marrying Arthur and ohhh shit how's Merlin going to take this no matter how much she's avowed that she likes me and has no romantic interest in my husband-to-be she's had his firstborn'.)  Then wrote a bit of angst about Ben and Keira from my Infernal Affairs-MI13 verse.    In desperation and wanting to write something that wasn't wheel-spinning angst, flicked through notebooks to look for those one-line ideas I sometimes write at the top of pages.  This morning one went 'so, if we take *this* and add that old fic idea...'

Yeah.  So pondering Exploring Officer Charles and Raven.  He's an adrenaline junkie telepath!  She's a shapeshifter!  Back home they're the oh-so-respectable brother-and-sister Xaviers, mostly concerned with parties! Together, they gather intelligence in the Peninsular Wars!  

And yes, Erik and Charles totally had a torrid affair back in London, only Erik thought he was a complete fop who he really shouldn't have been that fond of, given how shallow and spoilt Charles was and Erik's permanent outsider status in society as Eastern European Jewish.  Cue him coming across Charles and Raven in a foxhole.

:headdesk:  oh dear lord, now I'm suddenly getting bits from that original regency fic I wrote where the couple couldn't stop arguing in public but had got engaged in secret ages ago...

experiencing cognitive dissonance

okay, that Merlin fic I've been writing?  It's clocking up the hits and kudos gradually, but the comments are... interesting?

You know me, I occasionally try to go a bit historical and 'try-to-work-out-how-it-would-work'.  Merlin fandom is a fun and interesting place.  You often see fic that examines political stuff and the vague historical period that the  show very rarely ever did.  (well, Uther would occasionally do it - Queen Annis, plus regular bits of Uther - see the bit where he tells Arthur that a mistress is all very well, but don't think it's going any further than that.) Girl!Merlin fic often does it, because it's the nature of genderswap to examine the angles and changes and nuances.  And with this one, I pondered what would happen if Merlin had grown up at court, thinking through and discussing it with mates.  Originally I'd had Merlin and Arthur falling for each other in conventional fashion, only the way it gradually played out after I re-wrote the first concept it became more like intense friendship.  With some other undercurrents.

And..um...several of the comments I've got are in the fluff and 'twoo wuv, they're totally getting married!' sector.

I am deeply confused.  Does it seriously read like that?


Fic: Daughter of the Dragonlord (Merlin)

 It's finished.  Huzzah!  With, er,  a coda in the future...

Title: Daughter of the Dragonlord
Summary: Due to a really regrettable incident where she saved Arthur's life, Merlin is now the prat's bodyguard. She'd really like to go back to being Morgana's lady-in-waiting.  If only because it might stop the overgrown lizard from going 'I told you so.'

(magic-never got banned, Merlin was born a girl, 'verse told in snippets)
Word count: 9581


fic snippets ongoing

Poking my Girl!Merlin bodyguard fic, which is being posted as snippets with only vague attempts at plot <a href=http://archiveofourown.org/works/782441>over on Ao3</a> (now with 90% less angst and head injuries to Arthur than the actual Merlin show due to magic being legal!).  After having figured out how to get a very random idea I had for this back when it was completely different and I was wailing about trying to get a follow-through cohesive plot bolted onto the 'verse into a snippet, I... think I've only got three more snippets inside me, aside from a 'few years down the line' coda.  Found it's a good way of coping with a verse and characters you have in your head but no cohesive plot.  Which is a bit more like a sitcom than an ongoing drama.

Globe-ity Globe

Tempest 2/6/13

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Midsummer Night's Dream 8/6/13

(with added first timers Cathy and Gideon. Who did squee dutifully. I do like making converts to the cause. Only downside being that Gideon now keeps calling me 'Puppet' due to the plethora of short jokes. And it was full, and there were other tall people, so quite a bit of shifting in groundlings to see stuff)

Costuming - most everyone in Renaissance, the fairies in browns and greens and leather and furs and body paint, either stripped to the waist or minimalist bodices, lots of stag and horns and
skull headdresses. v. much Wild Hunt-ish.

Oh my Bard. This play. This fucking play. THIS WAS BRILLIANT.

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You may recall the girl!Merlin thing I occasionally mutter about. I decided to start posting the occasional snippet at AO3 - still *utterly* lacking a plot as it's more of a 'verse, which will be almost certainly be completely out of order but at least I'll have something there if I ever manage to get a plot. There will almost certainly be lots of snarking at each other dialogue. Daughter of the Dragonlord snippets, starting off with a bit of establishing backstory.

EXCALIBUR / MI-13 fancasting

 You may only use *current* actors.  'x would be nice if they were 10 years younger' holds no water - this is if we were making the film/tv show *now*.
Brian Braddock
Kitty Pryde
Kurt Wagner 
Pete Wisdom
Faiza Hussain
Rachel Summers 
(other options)
Black Knight
John the Skrull 
Captain Midlands
supporting cast: Betsy Braddock
Brian: Bradley James
Meggan:  Georgia Moffett (I will also take Gemma Arterton)
Faiza : Amara Karan 
Kurt : Colin Morgan (going on body type & bone structure)
Kitty : ...Natalie Portman? (maybe if Kitty was late 20s) argh, who else is a real shortarse but not busty?
Pete : drawing a blank.  name me a late 20s-early 30s can-look exceedingly disreputable but not built as such actor with a nice line in a london and or essex accent.
Rachel : Karen Gillan?  can she do an american accent?
Betsy : Gemma Arterton
John the Skrull : ...who most looks like John Lennon currently?
Spitfire : Emily Blunt
Captain Midlands : Lenny Henry
Black Knight: fuck it, I'm voting Rupert Young. he can at least convince as an ex-crusader.

state of the national psyche

 I'm trying to decide whether it's faintly depressing or cheering after reading a theory that the reason the British army did better in the Falklands than the Argentinians was that we expect to make do with stuff held together by string and a prayer in so much of our life that we don't even think about panicking when supplies don't turn up and just get on with it.  The soldiers didn't expect the stuff they'd been promised to turn up so had brought their own food and supplies.
'new and shiny and plentiful and efficient is very nice, but otherwise we can make do with pretty much anything as long as there's tea.  And we brought our own kettles and tea bags to make sure there would be tea.'
Look, shiny and new and on time public services are all very well but they're bloody unnerving.  

Romeo & Juliet, Globe, 30/03/2013

Part of the Education season pre-actual season starting.  Won a buncha ticketses, so me, Ruthi, Orjan and Carmilla went along.  (turns out it was Orjan's first theatre in 13 years and first Shakespeare in 15) Expecting it to be cold but not as bloody cold as it actually was. looked like a nice day.  not necessarily sunny but no rain forecast, and as much as I love the globe, downpour is somewhat argh-some.  The steward made a jibe about it having snowed on them last saturday.  And laughed.
Music pre-start was brass ... and then we figured out what the tune they were playing was.  Bloody 'Call me Maybe'.  Which then segued into Jessie J's 'Price Tag'.  (which actually works absolutely fine scored for trumpets) Started with a fight (including bmxs in the manner of city riots, incl the main stage prop, a burnt-out car.) Fight almost entirely feet and fists with requisite flailing and attempted martial arts moves because, hello, teenagers.
Costuming : hoodies and modern gear for teens (Tybalt is in full estate gangsta style parka), suits and formal for adults, Paris as young City type, with fortunately no colour coding that you often get.  Unless you've very specifically set it up as gangs or military, this gets really tired.  One suspects Jade Anouka* (Juliet) was very glad that current fashion for girls is hotpants and very thick tights.  Nurse, in full chav mode was probs luckiest - velour tracksuit, padded gilet and uggs.  Utter genius touch was Friar Lawrence and co, who were in full beige and other tans as happy clappy missionary types, complete with horrific glasses and sweater vests.  And the ball - utterly hysterical - first Mercutio and Benvolio bounded onstage in full Only Fools and Horses mode as Batman & Robin, then we got Tybalt as Darth Vader (and flick-out lightsabre which he kept slashing about to make a point when he goes into his snit-fit), a Captain America, a Marge Simpson, a Scooby Doo, etc- all cheap store bought, and bestest, Capulet as Elvis.  Complete with flames up the sides of his flares. Romeo and Juliet were in bits of standard Globe costume to make them stand out with neon accents for stuff like tights, but seeing the wondrous tackyness of everyone else, wondering what the hell they were supposed to be.
Good performances, convincing teenagers (sometimes they're so worthy/succumbing to the text that they just don't convince as teenagers - Juliet's supposed to be *13*, and if you're doing it in modern dress, you better play her as a modern day 13 year old, not how she'd have been expected to behave in the 17th century) and Romeo was a complete twerp.  As is right and necessary.  Best was Friar Lawrence and the Nurse, who were by turns well-meaning and meek with great 'oh shit' and 'give me strength' expressions and completely vulgar for the Nurse.  Who believes in shopping expeditions.  Most of the Nurse's dialogue works so bloody well in this setting.  Actually, as does quite a bit for this play - slang and phrasing's made enough of a turn around in the last decade to not need translation as long as you act it right.  Tybalt doubled up as an extremely down and out drug dealer :cough: apothecary. Definite tinge of the ex-Lahndan wideboy in Capulet.
Standout moments:  IT FUCKING SNOWED.  TWICE.  (we declared that this counted as all the fresh air we required for the entire Easter weekend, *and* it was done in the name of culture, so counted double.  fucking freezing)  Didn't know going in that there wouldn't be an interval.  They cut some of the second half's scenes to reflect this, including the killing of Paris (as seems to be really common these days, any idea why? doesn't add anything? makes Romeo less sympathetic?) and most of the tomb scenes - Friar Lawrence finds out from his 
fellow happy-clappier that the letter didn't get delivered, Juliet gets put in the tomb, Romeo commits suicide, Juliet commits suicide.  No interruptions by Friar. Wasn't bad, just made the suicides a bit rushed. Mercutio nearly skidded off the stage at one point when riding the bmx.  Usual coming through the crowd entrances from the cast, including where Romeo grabbed a blanket off one groundling, then borrowed Orjan's strawberry beanie for a disguise.  He did eventually give it back.  All of Romeo's internal questions were directed at the crowd, and after the first time where he made a gesture for an answer, the crowd were very cheerfully yelling back yes or no.  Yours truly 
got asked a question by Juliet and I did answer 'fuck no.'  May've got attention by our lot being the loudest gigglers at the funny moments. (pattern? what pattern?) The adults in the crowd are never going to forgive Romeo for walking in singing along to One Direction's 'You don't know you're Beautiful' and then getting the crowd to sing the last line.  We know One Direction lyrics.  Shut up.  It was forced.
Post-play, retreat to Founders Arms for desperate warm-up of hot drinks...
*If you ever want someone to play Tara off've True Blood'scousin?  grab Jade.  Even has her wtf expressions.
Or rather their propensity to have the heroine cut/tear them off whenever there's action required.

Excuse me while I groan because it's clear you've never actually seen material cut or torn. It's up there with the writers who tear a shirt off someone for the sex scene - do you know how difficult this actually is?

Anyway: Person is wearing a long skirt or dress and suddenly there's a fight scene requiring kicking, or they have to climb/run lots.

The writer thinks 'Oh noes! material in the way! I know, I shall get it out of the way quickly! Character undoubtedly has a knife/ can filch one off someone, cut and tear it off and Robert is indeed your mother's brother! She can get on with her fight/climb in all of ten seconds!'

Yeah. NO. Material and the construction of clothing doesn't work like that.
  • First, there's the material itself. Doesn't respond well to slashing with a knife - you might get a hole in it, but it'll take a good while to cut all the way through a piece. Several minutes. Faster with a good pair of sharp heavy-duty fabric scissors, but I somehow doubt your character has a pair of scissors on them, let alone a pair that would be any good for cloth cutting (have you seen fabric scissors, writer? They're bloody great heavy things, with *at least* 8-inch blades). If you must do this, make a small cut *at the edge*, grab the sides and pull. This will very noisily make a clean tear in the direction of the weave. And *only* in the direction of the weave. If the material was cut so the weave is on the diagonal - it'll tear in that direction. So you'll have a tear that... hasn't done all that much aside from split the skirt.

'But they make big slashing tears in curtains all the time on film!' I hear you say. Yeah. On film. Remember how that's not reality? Also, they have physics on their side. Curtain cloth has tension and weight due to the whole hanging from the ceiling factor, and isn't normally cut on the diagonal. And please note that they always cut *down*. no horizontal slashing here.
  • Second: 99% of clothing is not made of one piece of material, due to conservation of fabric, and that amazing thing known as design and getting it to hang right. Skirts are normally made of at least two panels sewn together. And the sewn part is normally reinforced with thread, and specifically made to be resistant to tugging and tearing. So even if you were lucky enough to make a horizontal cut/tear to the material, you'll run into a seam. And have to start cutting again, only this time it requires more strength and several goes.

So all this has taken a good ten minutes, and an awful lot of effort, which I doubt your character really has time for. Not to mention afterwards she'll be running around in a hacked off dress/skirt, which would a) look weird and b) be pretty much unusable afterwards. Clothing isn't cheap and the chances of spare stuff that'll fit hanging around is slim unless you're lucky enough to be in the middle of a residential area on laundry day.

'But how do I get the fabric out of the way so she can climb/fight?' I hear you wail.

(Never mind that it's actually quite possible to do this in a long skirt, women have been doing it for millennia, and yet there's a distinct lack of anecdotal evidence of them having to mend their skirts when they come back from doing this.)

Fear not, dear writer, I have a solution!


It's that simple. Takes about 30 seconds at most, and that's if you're hell bent on keeping it securely in place for ages. And by 'ages' I mean an extremely vigorous evening of dancing or similar. Several hours' worth. If all you're wanting is to get enough material out of the way for activity, you only have to do this with one side. Which takes all of 10 seconds. Ever read anything set prior to the 20th century, and the female character says something about 'kirtling' her skirts? This is what she's doing. Hitching them up enough to do vigorous activity with her legs free and securing them in place.

Yeah. So, given the option of grabbing the front of her skirt and tucking it into her waistband/knickers or knotting it or spending several minutes hacking uselessly at fabric with a knife she won't necessarily have access to?


new deities for winter

Having thinky thoughts re: the extended winter we're having. (look, ongoing snow, cold rain and temperatures hovering around 0°C counts as *winter* in England. it's colder and snowier in Scotland.)

And the fact that these days, the automatic English response to winter and snow especially is 'it's like bloody Narnia out there' and 'Jesus fuck, who called Jadis?' and 'Just seen Jadis go past in her sleigh. Ignore all offers of turkish delight' and variations on that theme.

We don't talk about Jack Frost (very much an american thing anyway), we talk about narnia and Jadis, aka the White Witch.

Which makes me wonder: How much does an imaginary figure have to be cited in popular consciousness in relation to an activity before they become the deity of said activity? (see Hogfather and the sources Terry used)

CS Lewis, did you have any idea what you created?


re-working stuff is problematic

went looking for some supporting character backstory for a fic that ended up (after changing and re-doing and re-inventing) being my nano of Infernal Affairs and MI-13. (couple of years ago, it's on darkisrising). I allude to some of it in one chapter, but it's the later stages. The stuff I'd written was the saga of character and his boyfriend getting together.

Found it a night or so ago and thinking about re-working it for the world that I eventually settled on for nano. (previously I'd never got a satisfying storyline out of it) Problem: nationalities have changed, the outside world has changed, character x disappeared, character Y and Z changed jobs, trust issues changed (x is friends with Y but don't know if they'd ever go clubbing together). Originally this backstory was me doing Notting Hill with an american male film star and a scots werewolf secret agent. With gossip sites and headlines and gagging orders and 'which film star is considered a ladies man allergic to relationships in the US but has a very serious boyfriend in the UK?'. Now climate and gossip sites have changed, the werewolf is still an agent but as he's a bit more focussed on social work and coppers it's not so much 'secret' any more. And the film star is now British. Which definitely changes any 'technically in the closet' issues. And whether the film star is going to have the slightest chance of a regular bodyguard/handler-type.

I still want to re-work it, but cthulhu knows how I'm going to get it to.


Things done:

Kiss Me Kate @ Old Vic , 18/01. it was awesome, if not a little fucked up in relationships. interesting to see where the songs went, and everyone trying to steal the show from everyone else, which was actually completely in character. Only real problem was the actress playing Bianca was... not quite there with the rest. I dunno, just didn't fit. rather good stage design and costuming too - all black and white clever things with banners for the play.

Bro's wedding: family, food, *other* family, small children behaving themselves, the sheer speed Chelsea Old Town Hall puts through weddings, pretty dresses, and unbelievably hungover the next morning. Seriously. the waitresses were making sympathetic noises.

If You Don't Let Us Dream, We Won't Let You Sleep @ Royal Court 09/03 - play about debt. where society is going, companies trying to monetarise it whilst the entire audience sat there and winced because it's all too true. I'd call it a question raising play - it didn't try to provide the answers (it specifically stated it wasn't trying to, idiot critics who weren't listening) but it did show us all the questions we should be asking. Possibly yelling.

Stage door: I was first out, but as the crowds amassed, i turned and asked 'okay, who *isn't* here for Damien Moloney?' Lots of shuffling of feet and coughing. Anyway. Crowd all terribly patient and polite, Damien utterly lovely and answering questions and posing for pics for everyone. and yes he'd like to do a musical.

In other news: weather, can it be spring sometime soon? not suddenly taking a dip and snowing again?
Title : The Case of the Disappearing Dancer
Author : burntcopper
Fandom : Sherlock
Genre: Casefic
Characters: Sherlock, John, Lestrade, Mycroft, OCs
Rating : No sex and very little violence. :sigh:
Summary : Lestrade's snitch's girlfriend has gone missing. And of course there's issues that mean going to the police might be a little awkward.

Ao3 The door goes when John's making a cup of tea.Collapse )

too close to home

You may have heard me before make a comment or two about how I never get to see where I live on tv or film. (we do not *ever* talk about Crime Traveller, generally considered to be one of the worst sci-fi shows *ever*)

This week, I'm now discovering that curse. BBC released Mayday, a thriller/murder mystery of red-herringness with supposed spooky tones - young girl goes missing on May Day, lots of suspects/rotten core of community etc.

Set in a small town/large village in the Home Counties.

Aside from the sheer crappiness of the plotting (the 'spooky' shots that were supposed to make you uneasy look more like they've grabbed a bunch out of a how-to guide and completely failed) and the characterisation of heavy-handedness that makes so little bloody sense... (and apparently got even worse from reports of people watching it)

I turned off 20 mins into the first ep. It was that painful. Admittedly mostly because I couldn't take the dodgy sleazy single dad leering at the screen *again*. But there's nothing like screeching 'WRONG' and 'SERIOUSLY, WTF?' 'NEVER HAPPEN' at the screen every 30 seconds. There's a difference between american shows getting british stuff wrong and a native show getting it that badly wrong. Your tolerance goes downhill.

First: the pagan-roots ceremony. Uh-huh. NOPE. I have no idea what you're smoking, but nope.

Cute 14 year old on bicycle as may Queen.... AHAHAHAHA.

The giant airy houses everyone lives in. maybe on one bit of an estate tacked on, but not the supposed range of households you've got there. I want to know how much the single-income family with kids is earning to be able to afford *that*.

The spoilt rich woman with the fat dog? I nearly threw something at the screen because she was wearing the wrong shoes. It sounds silly, but the very idea that she would wear clogs any further out of the house than the end of her drive or to pop next door *very quickly* would be anathema to her.

Essentially, when the only thing that rings true is the kebab shop, you're doing something wrong.

The Vicar of Dibley is a better representation than Mayday.

plot and film screenings

writing bunnies doing that thing where they suddenly decide to get off their arse and interrogate a story I've had hanging around the notebooks. Just a short, and no idea if I've got the tone right as it's a fandom I haven't written in before, the characters are ...not ones I connect with easily, and oh christ, it's 90% plot. As Taz has been know to say, 'Heather doesn't *do* plot. Occasionally she starts with one but gets rid of it very quickly as it's a bit icky and her characters don't know what to do with one. Your plots quickly leave on the fastest planes to the nearest non-extradition country.' When I've got a plot I always feel like I've rushed it to make things happen, rather than my usual meandering from scene to scene via dialogue. Pete is advising me to practice writer despotism on the plot as it's fun .

In other news, Taz managed to get tickets to a press screening of Welcome to the Punch - crime thriller starring James McAvoy, Mark Strong, Andrea Riseborough, David Morrissey and many others. Set in and around the City and Canary Wharf (with one side trip to Iceland), done in glossy expensive action thriller Hong Kong/Tony Scott/Michael Mann style. With absolutely *no* geezers, cabs or red phoneboxes. And it is *fun*, and glossy, and well-acted, and all the plot makes sense (including the corrupt politician motivations and one of the ways they get clues - a really simple trick that means there's no chasing around for clues that makes utter sense in normal everyday life) and there are no holes and was done on a budget of £5m to look like a much more expensive film. Go see. A solid 4 stars.

And. Um. I shook Mark Strong's hand. :wibble: (and bounced across the crowd after the Q&A to interrogate a rather surprised Chris Hewitt (Empire writer, was doing the Q&A) to ask him what the t-shirt he was wearing was. (Jack Kirby Galactacus. we approve) Because that's what you really expect during a glossy press screening with the writer/director, several of the actors, etc. Someone to come up to the film reviewer specifically.)

watching films and disconnection

specifically, I'm going through the recorded tv on my dvr box to try and clear space, mostly going through the things I recorded because they looked interesting, or had an actor in I liked, etc. Some miniseries that got really good reviews I lasted one ep on. I could see that it was technically good, the acting was great... I just wasn't interested. 3 eps deleted in a swipe.

Last night I watched Street Kings. Which is a James Ellroy written LA cops thriller corruption undercover etc. you know the genre. I'd recorded it because Chris Evans was in it, and I'm making the effort to try and see his past work. (it's actually surprisingly difficult to find what he refers to as his dumb populist stuff on uk tv, unless it's Fantastic Four, whereas things like Sunshine are on regularly)

Anyway. Keanu Reeves as a permanently angry violent detective who gets caught up in corruption and finds out how far it goes and.... oh, what do you care, you know all the beats of the story anyway. You know the damn dialogue. You even know the camera angles and colour palette. Rest of the cast was actually quite good - Forest Whitaker, Naomi Harris as a murdered cop's wife, Chris Evans as the jaded-but-young homicide detective, half his dept made up the cast from The Wire, etc.

Except: it was incredibly weird, disconnected viewing. You couldn't quite look away because even though it was by-the-book of this genre, certain things kept throwing you out:

1) Keanu Reeves is essentially a likeable plank of wood.*
2) Nearly the whole cast were doing 'I will do my job and turn in a decent performance but we're not trying *that* hard' acting. Except Chris Evans and Naomi Harris, who were giving really good performances, which was kind of jarring any time they switched between the rest of them and these two. Second, they were normally just in a scene with Keanu, which ... actor who can't act vs. really good actor makes for very odd viewing.
3) Really quite lovely camerawork and editing.
4) You were constantly aware that on the one hand it could be a much better film if it wasn't Keanu and everyone else tried harder (when this genre is good and you have great cast, it's brilliant - see Out of Sight, Elmore Leonard penned Soderbergh directed, Clooney-Lopez starring, that's a masterpiece) - but OTOH, also intensely aware that it could be so much worse.
5) Any time a scene started and Keanu wasn't in shot but had started speaking, it sounded like it was being narrated. He's that deadpan.

*If you wonder why he's employed so much, even though everyone knows he can't really act? I heard this from... maybe Mark Sheppard? Keanu shows up on time, doesn't demand stupid paychecks, learns all his lines, makes an effort to be nice to the crew, goes home at the end of the day and isn't a nuisance. and the public know his name and're willing to watch something undemanding with him in as lead. Like any business, the people who keep getting employed are the people who're likable and do their job. They might not be the best in their field, but they turn up on time.

So yeah. not a recommended film (unlike, say, Shoot Em Up, which is a masterpiece of late night bonkersness or Smokin' Aces) but interesting for the incredibly dissonant experience of watching it.


this morning, got one of those amazon emails of 'you looked at this, here's some other similar products'.

It was a bunch of Mills and Boon books, including the slightly racier ones. Except.

Yes, Amazon, I've looked at those, because the synopses are often hysterical. But. The most recent ones I looked at were the gay ones. Why don't you ever send me those? You send me graphic novel recs, you send me mills and boon, you send me superhero dvd recs, you send me stocking filler recs... but you never send me anything with gay mills & boon recs. Or 'you searched for Shelter and My Beautiful Laundrette and Beautiful Thing in dvd, how about Weekend* and Victor/Victoria?' or 'you searched for male Swan Lake dvd, how about Car Man?'

*note: i still need to see Weekend. Apparently it's awesome.


Macbeth, Trafalgar Studios, 14/2/13

Starring James McAvoy as Macbeth & Claire Foy as Lady Macbeth

Read more...Collapse )

:waves hi:

there are theatre updates I need to post. Kiss Me Kate & Rock of Ages.

but anyway ah the fun of when mates get their dates wrong and you have to grovel to the ticket office...

(I have my Tempest and my Dream tickets for the Globe. Macbeth and Henry VIs will be booked closer to the time. Tempest has Roger Allam and Colin Morgan for those interested.)

six nations - didn't watch last weekend as was busy seeing Lincoln (recommended, brilliant performances, giggled muchly at casting directors clearly phoning up David Strathairn and Tommy Lee Jones and going 'look, we're not going to bother auditioning these roles, just turn up, will you?', though as many reports said, they could've easily cut it ten minutes short - there's a natural cutting shot) and on my soon-to-be-sister-in-law's hen night the day before. which was fun, if a little odd since I didn't know anyone. And got told by a bunch of people 'you're obviously Matt's sister, you've got the same eyes'. (news to me and my parents) Wedding is this weekend. this will be... a bit odd, I suppose.

But anyway: Six nations, second weekend. Scotland vs Italy lots of fun. Wales vs France was seriously DULL. (agreed by my brother the rugby nut) Seriously, it only cheered up whenever Leigh Halfpenny turned up due to the eyecandy factor. Also the camerawork is crap in the Stade du France. why he was focussing on their feet during the scrums was beyond us. England vs Ireland - did not stop pissing it down (like most of UK this weekend) very entertaining, but all the points were from penalty kicks. (we're suspecting the lack of attempts at tries was due to the fact that the pitch was so waterlogged you couldn't run more than 10 yards at a time) There was an awful lot of grappling, though. Eyecandy and mud most pleasing.

:cough: someone on twitter accused the female viewers of just watching because it was trendy. Someone else: 'please check the #thighs tag. you underestimate how shallow we are.'

notes on ... changing fashions, maybe?

everyone knows fashion changes really fast these days. some trends last longer than others. However, what's interesting is noting the really long lasting permanent ones. Best way is probably tv and train carriages and platforms.

tv: due to it being filmed several months before, it can be trendy but not so trendy that it's out of date by the time it hits. Often it has to develop its own trends.

train carriages and platforms: all human life is here. It's not like buses - you have rich, poor, unemployed, tourists, workers, schoolkids, mums, people making short journeys and long journeys. people dressed in all kinds of fashions and styles.

So the main trend I've noticed? piercings and tattoos. In years gone by, people used to remove their piercings to go to work due to dress codes, still incredibly narrow. A shop I worked at for all of two days in the mid-90s had rules on how many piercings you could wear in your ears, and a strong implication that you were only allowed nose piercings if you were indian or pakistani. lip and eyebrow piercings? right out.

These days, you only have to turn your head to see someone in a suit, or the female equivalent of a suit, with a bunch of piercings. upper age range normally being late 30s. The average american show (much slower moving and conservative than british ones) have the girl from IT in a very carefully turned out immaculate white shirt and pencil skirt with 1950s makeup, but with a bar through her ear cartilage and a lip piercing.

Tattoos? glance at their feet and wrists. Everyone just has them. no big deal.
Oh, shush, yes, I saw this twice. once for... testing purposes. quality control. :sideye: it was a new Matthew Bourne. Quality control is *important*. And the others needed a guide the second time around.

Read more...Collapse )

food problems

Regularly i get ranted at by my mate jenny about the fact that I'm apparently too picky about my food.

It's not so much picky as several restaurants/cafes we end up in serve the types of food she was raised to like but not the stuff I was. So I end up seeing maybe one or two dishes I like.

Personal tastes, pretty much. The stuff she's rabid about, I can't stand or am completely ambivalent about - I suppose I could eat it, but I wouldn't enjoy it.

Cake shops? almost completely wasted on me. Even before my metabolism changed as a late teen and this stuff started making me physically sick, I was never fond of rich sweet stuff - cream-filled pastries and gateaux (what i mentally class as 'french/austrian/german' due to the sheer range of patisseries I walked past as a child). Half of it had that rich fruit syrup on or in it, (blegh, too sticky, horrible mouthfeel, why would you coat perfectly innocent fresh fruit in it) the rest was coated in powdered sugar or had nuts all over it.

Cheese? I like... mostly hard plain cheese, preferably english, *never* blue - it tastes rotten, and the smell/taste of most soft cheese makes me gag. Quite like ewe's milk cheese, can't stand goats.

This probably has done wonders for my figure, admittedly.

Nuts? on their own and savoury, fine.

Fruit better well bloody be fresh, and *not* mixed with savoury food. Cooked fruit is just wrong. Same for anything that's a sweet and savoury mix. unless it's a fruit-and-spinach/watercress salad, in which case MINE. (though in all cases of nice food, I tend to push it at other people so they can share in the awesome) I will get very pissed off if you removed the seeds.

Lentils? I don't have much against lentils, they're just incredibly boring. One mouthful is enough. jenny has said this about white rice, claiming that brown and red and other rices are so much more interesting. i was raised on good white rice (and no, we're not talking american, which just tastes plastic.). I can quite happily eat vats of the stuff in the same way some people can eat potatoes. It's what my family gives you when you can't stomach anything else. and to quote me and another southeast-asian-cuisine-raised mate, 'brown rice is for poor people'. Seriously. :shudder: it's like eating the cotton-wool type bread you get you used to get in the supermarket.


2012 in fic. and stuff.

Theatre: Shrek, Hamlet (Michael Sheen), Neverwhere, Hay Fever, Singin' in the Rain (twice), Cabaret, Comedy of Errors, Soho Cinders, The Recruiting Officer, Bingo, Early Adventures, Play Without Words, Swan Lake in 3D (finally with Richard Winsor),Our Boys, 55 Days & a dance revue of James Cousins' work.

Performances: Fascinating Aida, John Finnemore radio performances.

Film: Avengers, Dredd, The Artist, Cockneys vs Zombies, The Muppets, Pirates in an Adventure with Scientists, The Hobbit

Fic: nano - post-war Pevensies where Susan joins Torchwood & Edmund gets on with spying. The Shadows Feel Like Home
and Very Slightly Tainted Angels, X-Men First Class Berlin Christopher Isherwood AU


deviance from 'normal' human mode

given all the variation in humans, pondering how much we perceive ourselves as varying from the perceived average. (which is an incredibly odd concept as it is) For instance, from what I've been told over the years, I have:

short toes
wide feet with narrow heels
short, small waist
wide shoulders
tiny back (well, rib cage, given my bra band size)
wide hips
short, stocky legs
big head, or at least hat size.

I'm short for this part of Britain. 5'3. Hourglass figure. Which accounts for some of my bits being considered wide/short. I've always had more muscle (the stockiness) than would be expected for someone of my height, so I weigh more too. (I've varied between 10 and 10 and a half stone since puberty, only ever dipping below when I was running five times a week for about a month, and I expect the weight would go back up if I'd kept it up and gained more muscle, since my weight never varied when I was swimming 1k every morning at school for years, not including PE lessons)

The couple of bits of me that are *definitely* not on the 'perceived normal' variation scale are my hands and eyes - hands are child size and proportioned, eyes have pupils that are stuck on 'wide'. (they don't close down very much in bright light, meaning artificial light on during daylight is irritating and slightly painful, I have great night vision, and I have to actively concentrate to see 3D. I always wonder how much my pupils would fuck with the Voight-Kamp test in Bladerunner.)

Be interesting to find someone who was exactly average. Anyone got a bit of them that's apparently average?


writing. bollocks.

as a couple of people know, I started messing with an idea a few months ago that was along the lines of 'Girl!Merlin grows up in court due to Ygraine not having obviously died of magic thus it never got outlawed'. Figured out a few bits like status what with Balinor being a dragonlord - not noble, but respected position and powerful, so Merlin ends up as Morgana's handmaiden and has been since a young age. (the fact that she only has Gwen doing double duty as high-status maid & handmaiden is another of those 'dear lord, writers, RESEARCH' things) Of course, *immense* amounts of perceived UST when it comes to Merlin/Arthur by the rest of court due to male-female sniping with added relative intimacy naturally equalling shipping. To the point where everyone warns others away from the pair - Merlin because she's earmarked as the Prince's, and Arthur because everyone's heard the druid prophecy about Emrys. No bugger wants to get on the wrong side of either of those things. Also, Morgana.

So, anyway. It gets to about time of series 1, the attempts on Arthur's life start to ramp up a bit (different reasons than purge) so given that they're a lot magical, Uther assigns Merlin as a bodyguard, with added dumping Merlin in the knights so she works well within that unit too for patrol and battle times. Since Merlin's now moved into the adjoining room to Arthur's, cue even more presumption that she's his mistress.

Written the basic plot and so on, problem is now that I don't think it's in character any more. BOLLOCKS. Not to mention the issues thrown up by Merlin being raised in court which also means character issues and ARGH.


A Happy Hogswatch boxing day, one and all.

Hogswatch haul:

Hollow Crown box set
1970s & 80s dance photography book
Mumford & Sons' Sigh No More
welly socks
jewellery tree
Marc Jacobs Dot perfume
Threadless tee

eyeing online sales and whimpering a bit because I have the problem of a birthday in 2 weeks so can't buy owt that was on my xmas list *not* bought for me by parents.

Dr Who was wonderful. and awesome. No annoying children. Richard E Grant being very restrained. And I now love Clara Oswin Oswald even more than I did when she was a dalek. Several people noted the reversal - it's the prospective companion who's being curious and trying to find everything while the doctor lays breadcrumbs, and it looks like she's going to be one of the puzzle themes of the next set of eps. STRAX. MADAME VASTRA. JENNY. Spin-off, BBC, we're begging you. They're comedy gold, and provide wonderful touching one-liners too. Seriously, how unbelievably awesome would they be for a new CBBC series, Sherlock Holmes-ing it through Victorian London? You've got all the costumes and sets *anyway*.

Downton Abbey, proving that once again Julian Fellowes cannot fail to write in clichés, drop all the plot anvils in the first 5 minutes in giant flashing neon lights, and at the same time keep millions hooked while they yell and throw things at the screen. this ep? ship-tastic. It was like there was a prerogative to flirt; Ivy and Daisy were flirting, Thomas was being lovelorn at Jimmy whilst promising he'd not overstep his bounds again, Mrs Patmore had a date, Cousin Isobel and Dr Clarkson, Edith and her editor (married with mad wife so no divorce possibility) O'Brien and the Scots ladies maid Wilkins were generating waves of spinster uptight complete bitch sexual tension at each other, new doomed housemaid Edna set her cap at Tom Branson, Mary and Matthew and Bates and Anna were being lovey-dovey at their respective spouses... and then in the last two minutes, after Mary had had the baby (sign-posted from first 30s of ep) Fellowes dropped such an unbelievably cliché clanger of an ending that twitter was reduced to capslock.

Predictions for next series:

Thomas and Jimmy will end up snogging or shagging. and then there will be Jimmy doing self-loathing. Edith is going to have an affair with her editor. Isobel will jump Clarkson. Rose (the cousin who went jazz clubbing last series and is now joining the main cast) will fall for a servant. Alfred's going to leave to become a cook or something at a hotel. Anna will be preggers. Tom and Mwill join forces for the sake of the kids.

sculpture, Shakespeare and markets

I Bronze'd at the RA as it was the last couple of days - some utterly stunning, magical work let down by unbelievably crappy labelling - seriously, who puts tiny 6" labels at waist height when you've got giant wall space behind it all? The moment anyone stood in front of a sculpture, bye-bye goes the label. You could see people getting visibly frustrated at having to hunt for the label that would a) tell them what it was and b) give some rather nice context notes.

MUSEUM PEOPLE: IMAGINE YOUR GALLERY IS FILLED TO THE BRIM WITH PEOPLE. LABEL ACCORDINGLY. (there's these computer imaging programs if your imagination is seriously that crappy) NOT EVERYONE WANTS THE AUDIO.

Some utterly amazing pieces - the giant satyr, the Etruscan shadow/solstice piece that shows *exactly* where Giacometti got his influences, the 3m high John the Baptist and friends, the Chinese wine vat for parties in the shape of a ... I think it was a pig, don't quote me, the Remington piece of five cowboy riders where it looked like they were flying, (with added Remington's notes with him crowing on the technical marvel he'd been able to pull off - six feet on the floor, ten in the air. BEAT THAT.), the northern european sun disc worship pieces, the turn of the century life-size Dutch peasant who was so wonderfully, quietly dignified, an amazing bronze-marble-enamel victorian Jewess, the boar whose nose was shiny because people touch it for luck, the *gorgeous* Benin heads, the Japanese incense and oil burner (3m tall, 2m wide), the Barbara Hepworth that everyone stopped in front of and sighed 'lovely', and that's just off the top of my head. Some where you were going 'bor-ing'. Too many Hercules and centaur bloke who was carrying off his fiancée. A very static Michael and devil.

Very amusing bits - I love how people grade stuff in these exhibitions by 'so, which pieces would you nick, given the chance?' (lots of people contemplating that they could probably get the Etruscan piece down their trousers and one of the Benin heads in their bag without too many problems) Me spreading the 'a lot of classical female sculptures? the models are boys that they then stuck tits on' and the woman next to me turning round and pointing at another piece and going 'case in point, look at those hips' to her friend and all of us smirking and saying as one 'the Medusa in the first room? Definitely the Medusa.'

As ever, beyond postcards and a nice book, the RA fails on souvenir stuff. the very expensive jewellery and silk scarves are lovely, but seriously, go to Trafalgar Square, RA merchandise people, and look at what the National Gallery produces for its exhibitions. You're missing out on so much wonga in your inability to produce notebooks, brollies, magnets, cute badges, mugs, toys, and simple jewellery.

Whilst I was in there, they announced that James McAvoy was going to be playing Macbeth in February at the Trafalgar Studios, and my feed was filled with people going 'got my tickets' when I got out of the gallery. Cue me hustling it to Trafalgar Square for tickets. They hadn't released any more cheap ones past press night, so thanked my lucky stars that I found some theatre tokens in my wallet and got one for Valentine's Day. Now just waiting to see what take they're going to do on it, considering Macbeth is my utter weakness and loving the setting of Michelin-starred chef they did for the BBC Shakespeare Re-told plays they did a few years back. (McAvoy as Macbeth, Keeley Hawes as Lady Macbeth, Richard Armitage as Macduff) Seriously, the concept of the witches being binmen is one of the best choices for them ever.

Southbank market was done, presents were bought, possibly worst Gluhwein *ever* - seriously, hot ribena would've been more alcoholic and less sugary - and I managed to get mustard from the bratwurst up my nose. Don't ask. The leather bracelet bloke saw me coming. dammit. Overall quite nice. No coffee. :narrows eyes: The only problem I really have is the fact that a few years ago they handed it over to the package german market people, which means all the good food stalls went (they used to have pieminster and awesome burger places). Fortunately tastebuds rescued by the chocolate festival being on round the back of the Royal Festival Hall. Work people currently thoughtfully working their way through salt caramel chocolate covered biccies from Artisan du Chocolat.

SNOW! (also wedding)

Not very much. okay, a dusting. but finally we got some in the south east.

Taken at 7:30 am, it's still around in any shady bits at noon.

Friday, my cousin David's wedding to his girlfriend Jo. Who is very nice. It was at a country house that rents out a portion for weddings, with rooms in the central block that get rented overnight for the family/wedding guests, and you can *tell* it's a house, not a hotel. Doors are missing. You don't get keys unless you ask for them. Most of the original light switches are in. Receptions are in the gallery - separate building off to one side which given the age/style of building, me and dad are inclined to think is a sculpture gallery. (see Keira Knightley Pride & Prejudice) Lovely day - cold, but sunny.

Twas Fun. Especially when you're the 'family' side, and as I talk to random people at gatherings, got chatting with David & Jo's mates - 'so, which are family?' 'Look for the short blondes and their hangers on. it's just direct cousins here, David's mum's sisters' kids.' 'Chris is...?' 'Best man. David's brother. Look for the VERY TALL gingers.' (Chris is taller than David. David is Chris Hemsworth/Tom Hiddleston height) Amusing bit of Chris explaining to someone else that though David may get called Dave by mates, he's David in the family. Which includes Jo. And what she says goes. NO SPEECHES. OR POETRY. OR READINGS. (hallelujah) However, as it was a winter-ish wedding, and you want the photos when daylight is still around, the wedding was at 1:30pm, which meant the dinner dragged on a bit during the time between then and the evening buffet. Speeches would've spaced it out a bit, but considering everyone tends to chug the champagne or look bored during speeches, whatever. Great food, evening buffet was awesome, (giant cheese board which Jo commandeered at the end! pizza! samosas! huge bacon sandwiches!) dancing fun. Flower girl Phoebe, 3 years old, couldn't keep her shoes on. apparently the only reason the dress stayed on was she couldn't figure out how to remove it. I challenged her to a joust/duel with her shoes as weapons. it was inevitably awesome. Satisfaction was had from both parties. Stole her fairy wings and told adults off who wanted to put them on because it would stretch the elastic as they're made for sproglets. At one point provided immense amusement for my family because I was chatting to a bloke who apparently was trying to chat me up and I didn't notice, and apparently had the most hysterical framing the crotch body language which I also didn't notice. Louise: 'it was like he was a cardboard cut-out for all the interest you were showing. As it should be. But still, hysterical.'



Fic: The Shadows Feel Like Home (Narnia)

The Shadows Feel Like Home

The Nano. In which the Pevensies trip, fall, and somehow end up in Torchwood. It's not Susan's fault she shot an alien that was trying to kill Jack Harkness.

Spell-and-grammar checked but that's about it.

And yeah, this is pretty much the sequel to the National Service series. With added 'oh shut up I may or may not have adjusted the years a bit. And Susan is working for customs and excise, rather than the vague job she had.'

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